What Happened When We Talked About Identity, Masculinity, and the Internet in School

The Influence Project

This week, we spent time with Year 10 students at Ysgol Aberconwy delivering The Influence Project, and it quickly became clear that these weren’t going to be ordinary classroom sessions.

From the outset, both groups, and the four staff members supporting them, were engaged and open. But what made these sessions genuinely powerful wasn’t just that students contributed when prompted. It was that, when given the space, they began to connect the conversation to their own lives in ways that felt honest, unfiltered, and at times, quite vulnerable.

We set out to explore identity in the context of the digital world, a space where young people are constantly being shaped, nudged, and, at times, manipulated. Together, we unpacked how algorithms work, not as neutral tools, but as systems designed to hold attention. We talked about “gateway content”which is seemingly harmless videos or posts that can gradually lead users toward more extreme or emotionally charged material, and how easy it is to be drawn along without even realising it’s happening.

One of the ideas that seemed to resonate most strongly was the concept of the economy of attention. For many students, it was a lightbulb moment to recognise that much of the content they consume is designed to tap into their fear and anger, because those emotions keep people watching. Once that lens was in place, you could almost see the shift in how they processed what they see online every day.

But while these insights were important, the most significant moments came when the conversation moved from what’s happening online to what’s happening internally.

In one session, there was a student who, at first, seemed completely disengaged. He sat apart from the group, head down, hat on pulled low, avoiding any interaction. He didn’t join discussions and gave every impression of wanting the session to pass without being noticed. It would have been easy to assume we weren’t reaching him at all.

However, as the session developed, we began talking more personally about mental health, and the pressure many boys feel to appear strong or unaffected. As that shift happened, something changed in him. He looked up, made eye contact with me, and gradually leaned in. From that point on, he was present and engaged in a way he hadn’t been before. Nothing dramatic was said but the change was unmistakable.

In another group, a cluster of lads who had started off restless and slightly disruptive found their focus when we explored the difference between what we described as performance masculinity and secure masculinity. The idea that there’s a version of masculinity built on proving something (appearance, status, dominance, fitting a mould) versus one rooted in self-awareness, confidence, and humility. The tone in the room shifted as the conversation became something they recognised in themselves and each other.

What stood out across both sessions was that young people are far more ready for these conversations than we sometimes assume. When we move beyond surface-level messaging and create space for real discussion they don’t withdraw, they lean in.

A significant part of The Influence Project was also about equipping students with practical ways to navigate the online world more safely and thoughtfully. Rather than simply warning about risks, we focused on helping them recognise patterns, question what they’re seeing, and understand how their attention is being directed. The aim wasn’t to create fear, but to build awareness and agency to help them feel more in control of their digital lives, rather than passively shaped by them.

By the end of the sessions, it felt clear that this wasn’t just a worthwhile exercise, but one that genuinely connected with the reality of students’ everyday experiences.

A session for adults too?

Of course, young people don’t navigate this world in isolation. The influence of parents, carers, youth leaders, and church communities remains vital, but many adults feel unsure of what this digital landscape actually looks like, or how best to respond to it.

That’s why we’re inviting you to join us for an upcoming evening session: Parenting the Digital Generation.

This training is designed to help parents, carers, pastors, and those working with children and young people better understand the online environments shaping the next generation. Together, we’ll explore how influencer culture and algorithms impact identity and behaviour, and we’ll share practical tools to help you support young people with confidence, wisdom, and empathy.

If we want young people to navigate the online world well, they need adults around them who understand it too.

We’d love you to be part of that. Find out more, and sign up here.